2.13.2015

The job listing that made me hate The Fine Brothers

You know those "Kids React" and "Teens React" and "Elders React" videos everyone's always sharing on Facebook? Those are made by The Fine Brothers, whose YouTube channel is called TheFineBros.

I am mostly neutral on The Fine Brothers' videos. I've seen funny ones and I've seen boring ones. I really didn't have that strong of an opinion about them ... until I saw this job listing on Craigslist. OMG, guys, it's awful, so get ready.

I'm going to just put the screenshots here first so you can read them and be enraged on your own, and then we'll talk about them after, okay?



Okay, okay, okay. Let's go one by one.
  1. First of all, if your NORMAL working hours are 45 hours a week, "although your days may run longer," THAT'S A PROBLEM. Maybe hire a full time person plus a part-timer.
  2. Don't talk about your hour lunch break as if it's some glamorous and unusual perk. That is normal. Calm down.
  3. Other than that, the benefits are slim? Really? You're a start-up with SLIM BENEFITS? The best you can come up with is an hour lunch break and Mario Kart? Not even free lunches? Or snacks, even?
  4. The first point under the "Job Requirements and Responsibilities" section is actually pretty helpful to include, in order to save people time and whatnot. But like, did you have to word it so rudely? Ick.
  5. "Be comfortable under extremely tight deadlines" is code for "we never plan projects out appropriately and therefore expect absolutely unreasonable turnarounds."
  6. "OCD-level documentation?" Ableist and rude. Do you actually want your designer to have a disorder? If so, you're the actual worst.
  7. "In general, making the same mistake twice is a huge bummer for us." This is rude. I mean, yeah. Making the same mistake twice is bad. But again, just like with number 4, this is worded super rudely. Same thing with the "deer in the headlights" thing.
  8. "Have friends and significant others that don't mind you spending long hours away from home." Get yourselves together. Seriously. Work-life balance is important. Cherish it. Treasure it. Provide it for your employees.
  9. Like, freaking OBVIOUSLY someone applying for a graphic design position is comfortable sitting and staring at their computer screen for hours at a time. That's how it works.
  10. "Have a great sense of humor, and be fun to work around for 12+ hours at a time when needed." Like, no. You don't get to demand that someone is funny or pleasant to work around, especially when you're also demanding 12+ hour days.
  11. So you started this stupid job ad by talking up your company and acting like you're so great, but now you're saying you're a start-up just so you can make sure we're not expecting a good paycheck?
  12. Also, start-up culture is all about paying people really well and having good benefits. See point 3 for a few suggestions. And yeah, health insurance would be a good start.
  13. "If this would just be a stepping stool for you to something else a year down the line, this probably isn't the right gig for you." Oh. Gotcha. So you're offering a job that requires MORE than full time hours with a hectic, awful working environment and no health insurance and you'd like to require more than a year commitment? No. You will be lucky to find someone to do this job for a couple of months, let alone more than a year.
  14. Finally, if you want to stand out from the competition, make sure your subject line makes it clear that you like the same things as us, because if you're not a Game of Thrones fan, then you're clearly not cut out for working with us.

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