Welcome to Wedding Week, where I help you become a better wedding guest through my -- and some of my recently married friends' -- experiences. Some people might think it's rude for me to blog about hating people at my own wedding, but those people don't have a blog called "I Hate Everyone." If you recognize yourself in any of these, don't fret! I probably still love you. Just adjust your behavior for the next wedding you're invited to.
Today is all about RSVPs, and there are really only a few rules.
1. Fill out the card completely.
RSVP cards are not meant to simply be sent back blank. This should be, but is apparently not, obvious. There are generally spots for you to write your name, check whether or not you'll be in attendance, and sometimes some extras, like which meal you would prefer or, in my case, what dessert is your favorite and what song you want to hear.
Let's take these in order.
After hearing horror stories from friends and on various blogs, I had the forethought to write a number on each RSVP card that corresponded to the number on my alphabetical guest list. This meant that I knew whose RSVP card I had whether or not they filled in the name, so this wasn't a huge problem for me, but it is for a lot of people. ALWAYS, always, always write your name on the card!
Checking whether or not you'll be attending is the entire point of an RSVP card. Again, this should be obvious. I got at least two back with neither option checked. Are you going to be there or aren't you? I then had to call these people and ask them whether or not to expect them. This defeats the purpose of the card entirely.
The extra questions are often just as important. When weddings have catered meals, which meal you choose matters! My questions weren't all that important, but I still wanted suggestions from everyone. I haven't counted or anything, but generally with my RSVPs, it seemed the older the guest was, the less likely they were to suggest a song. We wanted everyone's suggestions so the music wouldn't skew too young or too weird, but we ended up getting suggestions mostly from people close to our age, so we didn't have quite as much variety as we would have liked.
2. Actually send the card.
I mean, seriously, guys. There were a LOT of people who fell into this category. Some of my dearest and closest friends fell into this category. I still love them, but goodness gracious, it is so annoying to have to track down a list of 50 or so people who didn't RSVP.
The thing I don't get is that RSVPing is not hard. The card already has a stamp on it. You fill in a couple of questions and drop it in the mail. HOW IS THIS DIFFICULT?
But people found as many ways as they could to make it as difficult as they could.
I will give people this: Some people never got their invitations because the USPS sucks.
And some people sent in their card but it never got to me because the USPS sucks.
But mostly, people just forgot to send it in, and that absolutely baffles me! It's so, so easy.
And here's the thing. A lot of the time, people had reasons. A lot of the time, it was that they had to wait to see if they got the day off work. But if you can't RSVP by the RSVP-by date, LET ME KNOW! Let me know that you need more time and let me know why, and it will probably be fine. But if I haven't heard from you by the date on the RSVP card, I end up with a list of 50+ people I have to track down via various media, and that takes a LOT of time and effort that I shouldn't have to waste.