8.13.2013

Wedding Week: Lying

Welcome to Wedding Week, where I help you become a better wedding guest through my -- and some of my recently married friends' -- experiences. Some people might think it's rude for me to blog about hating people at my own wedding, but those people don't have a blog called "I Hate Everyone." If you recognize yourself in any of these, don't fret! I probably still love you. Just adjust your behavior for the next wedding you're invited to.

Today is day 2, and it's about telling the truth.

Guys, don't lie to me. It's rude, and I usually figure it out at some point.

Several times (like, at least four) over the course of procuring RSVPs from people who didn't send them in, people gave me really specific excuses as to why they couldn't come. But then, I would see something on Facebook or Twitter indicating that their very specific excuse was a total lie.

One person told me her brother was graduating that weekend, so she couldn't make it. But then, via the magic of social media, I saw her myriad posts about her brother's graduation ... the weekend after the wedding. So like, thanks for the fake excuse, bro.

Someone else told me she had a bachelorette party to attend the weekend of my wedding, but it was actually the weekend before.

Here's the thing. RSVPs are intensely personal and brides generally take them really personally. Getting a "no" RSVP is sad. Every person I invited to the wedding was somebody I really, really wanted there. So every single "no" I received made me feel bad.

But also: You don't have to give me a reason why you can't make it. I understand that everyone has things going on in their lives and that their lives don't revolve around me and Matt. So a simple "no" is fine.

But if you want to give me an excuse, make it something truthful, or at least generic enough that I can't deduce that it's false. A lot of people said they couldn't afford the trip. Totally reasonable. Or they couldn't get off work. Also understandable. Feel free to use those two next time you have to say no to someone.

But don't blatantly lie. It's rude.

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