I find this annoying.
I don't want to expand on that too much in this post, though. This post is about something a little more specific.
I've been seeing a lot of pins (on Pinterest, in case you're not hip) lately about engagement "rules."
The first time I saw this pin, it was one of those "secret photographer" shots of the proposal moment and the caption started with, "Only three rules," followed by a list of rules.
Okay, hold on. First of all, ONLY three rules? Having rules at all is already too much. Talking with your significant other about what you expect is one thing. But setting rules? What are you going to do if the rules aren't followed? Say no? (If the answer to that is yes, that's a problem.)
Now, let's add to that the fact that I've also seen this pin with up to five or six rules in the caption instead of three. That is TOO MANY RULES.
So let's get down to the rules themselves. I've collected the full list of six here:
- "Ask my dad's permission." Asking permission, while somewhat archaic, is a very well-known "requirement." Almost everyone does it without being told, so I'm not offended by it. Moving on.
- "Make it a COMPLETE surprise." Wanting it to be a surprise is also acceptable, in my opinion. A "COMPLETE surprise" is a little much. Do you not want to know it's coming at all? Because it's probably good to at least discuss getting engaged before popping the question. Everyone needs to be on the same page here, right?
- "Use my full name." No. This is too much. Setting rules for what has to be said is a terrible idea, especially because they are going to be so nervous. Proposing is difficult. No matter how much a person has prepared what they want to say, they may forget in the moment. And adding specific things they have to remember makes the pressure even worse.
- "Get down on one knee." I think this is actually the dumbest one on the list. EVERYONE knows to get down on one knee to propose. Since the on-one-knee thing is so obvious, if they aren't planning on getting on one knee, there's probably a reason. What if they wanted to propose to you on a ski lift? This would be adorable. Would the fact that they can't get down on one knee on a ski lift keep it from being a beautiful proposal? Probably not, right? Then why make it a rule?
- "Have somebody catch it on camera." No, no, no. Not that there's anything wrong with catching it on camera. But don't make this a requirement. Everyone's different. So you want someone there to capture it on camera, fine. But maybe your significant other (who is obviously the one who has it the hardest here, what with proposing and all) isn't comfortable with someone else being there. Or maybe they just want it to be an intimate moment between the two of you. Don't force them to have someone else there just because you want to have a picture of the occasion.
- "Make sure my nails are done." ...I mean that's just stupid. I almost don't even want to explain why I hate this so much, but I'm going to anyway. This point invalidates point #2. At least for me, there's absolutely no way I wouldn't suspect something if my boyfriend encouraged me to paint my nails. I would automatically think he was going to propose.