10.21.2012

"Want U Back" by Cher Lloyd is SO. DUMB.

I'm breaking my unofficial hiatus because the song "Want U Back" by Cher Lloyd fills me with rage.

First, let's talk about the song itself.
  1. The very first word — if you can call it that — is "ugh" or something along those lines. It appears in the song 17 times, and I have NO IDEA why. It's not like it's pleasant. It doesn't add to the sound of the song. It's just strange.
  2. Now, once we get past that, there's the entire concept of the song itself. Apparently, the narrator thought her lame boyfriend would wait around and pine for her after she dumped him. And I get that that's a thing. Once you see your ex in a new relationship, you regret ever having broken up with them in the first place. (Apparently. I've never experienced this.) But anyway, even if it's a thing, that doesn't give you the right to tell him. This song makes it seem like it's something to be proud of. It makes no sense whatsoever.
  3. The second verse is the worst part. "Please, this ain't even jealousy / She ain't got a thing on me / Tryin' to rock them ugly jeans, jeans, jeans." Like...It is clearly jealousy. You want what she has. The fact that you think she's not as good as you doesn't change the definition of jealousy. "I'm sorry, I'm incapable of being jealous of your new girlfriend because her jeans are ugly." Yeah, that makes sense.
  4. Next are the lyrics, "You clearly didn't think this through / If what I've been told is true / You'll be crawling back like boo hoo hoo." Like, WHAT was he supposed to think through? You dumped him! Did he not properly think through the whole "moving on" thing? It's just something you do.
  5. So then, after talking about how she wants him back for the entire song, she makes it even worse in the bridge, when she says, "I thought you'd still be mine / when I kissed you goodbye." Like, how are you saying this with a straight face? This is what you say sarcastically to someone who feels like this. This girl's friends should be saying, "What, did you think he would be yours forever?" But this is actually what she's saying. 
So whatever. It's a stupid song, and stupid songs happen. Not a big deal. Which is why I didn't blog about it when I first heard it.

But the video. Ohhhhh, the video.

I saw the video during those stupid pre-movie things you have to sit through if you get to a movie theater too early last week, and then again today.

The video makes me so, so angry. Basically, in addition to trying to steal her ex-boyfriend back, she's also decided to terrorize the poor new girlfriend at her workplace, which is just awful.
Drawing in ketchup on the counter? Who does that?

And her awful friends are helping, too! This is not what friends do! Friends tell you you're being crazy and buy you ice cream.
Right before Rihanna-wannabe over here hip-checks the poor waitress
 Also, the customers are inexplicably on Cher's side. Like, if you were eating a meal and a girl came in and started walking on the counter insulting your waitress, I doubt you would be on the girl's side, even if the waitress was really bad at her job.
Yeah, high five! She hasn't given me a refill in like five minutes!
I'm so excited that my waitress just got a milkshake dumped on her!

Also, the face she makes to punctuate the "ugh" noise is absolutely terrible.
She looks like she's in pain.
Then, to make matters worse, I realized that this is the U.S. version of the video, which means there's a non-U.S. version! So I watched it, and it's a hundred times better! Yes, it's the same basic concept and the same awful song, but instead of torturing this girl at work, she's just talking to pictures of them and imagining herself there. So instead of actually doing anything, she just pretends to mess up the poor girl's tattoo and pour water on her head.

Much better.

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