Jessica Goodman guest blogs: Fifteen minutes in Sam's Club

Today, I went to Sam’s Club. That was the first mistake.

While at Sam’s Club, my sister and I went to the small café area to get a drink and a snack. Second mistake. We were the third people actually IN line, but people were also standing on both sides of us, clearly hoping to merge into the line. This is not how lines work at all.

Next, while we were waiting in the line that wasn’t really a line, a lady in one of the motorized wheelchairs provided by the store was trying to get through. But, instead of saying “excuse me” and waiting for people to move, she just rolled on through, rammed into a very large Sam’s Club cart that was also in her way, which then hit another lady in line.

It wasn’t like the cart hit the lady and the wheelchair lady realized it and stopped either. It hit the lady, and the wheelchair lady continued pushing the cart which continued to shove the lady in line. It was unbelievably rude.

The best part was when she sped off exclaiming “Thank you!” to the people in line. Um, you’re not welcome!

Now, my order was a little lengthy for these people, which was the third mistake. I ordered a chicken sandwich and a cherry ICEE for my husband, and a Coke and a pretzel for me and my sister. The woman taking the order went to the ICEE machine and pulled the lever for the cherry ICEE only to find out that it’s wasn’t frozen yet. No big deal, I’ll take blue raspberry instead.

So she filled up the same cup with blue raspberry.

It was a swirled mess! I obviously didn’t want it like that! Not only was it not the original cherry I ordered, it was not my second, much less appealing, option of blue raspberry either. It was a third option, which I didn’t even know existed. I asked for a different one (quite politely), and received a dirty look and a new ICEE.

We moved to the side to wait for our order. Fourth mistake? Expecting this to go smoothly. First, it took forever. When the angry ICEE lady finally handed me the pretzel, I asked her if they had any cheese to dip it in (fifth mistake?!). She told me it would cost fifty cents, which I say is no problem and begin to get out of my purse.

She stands there and watches me for just enough time for me to locate the change and pull it out. Then, she tells me I need to wait in line again to pay for it. This wouldn’t have irritated me if she didn’t stand there and watch me dig around for the change. What did you think I was doing in my purse, lady? And stand back in your ridiculous line? No, thank you.

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