Jessica Goodman guest blogs: Pregnancy etiquette

Being pregnant has been...interesting.

There have been moments where I've been amazed at my body and the things that our baby is doing that we can and can't see.

There have also been moments where I've been miserable; it's hot, I'm swollen and all I want to do is eat and sleep. The good moments have far surpassed the not-so-great ones, of course. It is the miracle of life, after all.

There are some things, however, that you shouldn't do to a pregnant lady. I've pared it down to seven.
  1. Our baby is not food and should not be compared to food. She's not the size of a bean spout or a small plum or a pot roast, she's fourteen inches long and weighs about two pounds.
  2. She's not a "tadpole" either. I'm looking at you, Baby Gaga Facebook app.
  3. If you're a stranger, don't touch me. This is a general rule people should follow anyway, and my baby bump isn't an invitation to violate this rule.
  4. If you notice me using the restroom more than you believe I should, leave it alone. It's awkward to talk about.
  5. Every time I'm hungry, it's not because I'm pregnant. It's because I'm a human, and perhaps I haven't eaten today.
  6. Don't hate on the baby name we've picked. When YOU have a baby, you can name him or her whatever YOU want.
  7. If I tell you about something strange I've eaten, like a Slim Jim and chocolate milk, don't make it your Facebook status.

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