2.19.2011

Bumper stickers

I don't really ever understand the concept of bumper stickers. There's nothing I care strongly enough about that I would want to proclaim it on the back of my car.

Types of bumper stickers and why I hate them all:
  1. Political bumper stickers. I don't care if you supported McCain or Obama. After the election, if you have a McCain sticker, you look bitter, and if you have an Obama sticker, you look smug. Also, the timely nature of elections means that eventually the election will be over and you'll be left with an outdated bumper sticker until the next election cycle. Also, did you really think your bumper sticker was going to do anything for the election? Most people have heard of both/all of the candidates, and the fact that you support the candidate isn't going to change anyone's mind.
  2. Bumper stickers about other "important" issues. There are "Free Tibet" bumper stickers, bumper stickers about the environment, anti-war bumper stickers, gun rights bumper stickers, bumper stickers about religion, etc. So my thing is, if you care enough about this issue to have a bumper sticker permanently on your car, is it the most important issue in your life? Because that makes you seem very one-note. Then, of course, you have the people who have bumper stickers about EVERY issue, and then you just seem like a crazy person. And again, while this might bring awareness to your issue, it's really not changing anyone's mind.
  3. Bumper stickers about unimportant issues. This is the classic "My child is an honor student at Whatever Elementary" kind of thing. Or an "I brake for animals" one. Seriously, nobody cares. These are so unimportant I feel insulted for having to read them. I saw one the other day that said "I brake for garage sales." This is clearly a play on the original "I brake for animals" one, but I'm pretty sure the person is actually a huge fan of garage sales.
  4. Snarky bumper stickers. These are usually a direct response to number three, like "My child beat up your honor student." Like, do you really want every person you come in contact with on the road to think you're a sarcastic jerk?

I'm just saying, when you put a bumper sticker on your car, it's a big statement. Is that bumper sticker really how you want to represent yourself to the world?

1 comment:

  1. My favorite is when you can accurately pin a person from their bumper stickers. "Oh, so he has the orange T logo for some Tennessee sports team, a sticker alluding to a love for hunting, and a garishly large American flag." (There might be a Wolf howling at the moon, covering the back window.) Yeah, I think we have a pretty good idea of what that dude is like.

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