My neighbor is obsessed with his car.

Okay, so I have this neighbor, and he's totally fine most of the time, except he is ALWAYS washing his car.

Today is Memorial Day and I didn't have to work. Mom, Dad and I went to the zoo, came back, Mom and I went to Old Navy and came back, we all hung out by the pool for a couple of hours, Mom and I went for a walk and to the grocery store and came back, and the entire day, my neighbor has been washing his car.

He started at some point while we were at the zoo and he has not stopped.

If he was working on his car or fixing something, I would understand. But he's not. He's washing it.

It's been at least seven hours. That's almost a full work day. I feel like I could probably wash fifty cars in the time it's taking him to wash his. I just don't understand how you can spend that long on one car.

Seriously, let's try to break this down. To wash the exterior, I'd say maybe an hour tops, even if you're washing it with a toothbrush. To wax the whole thing, who knows? It's a Hummer, so I'll give him an hour to get it all looking wonderful. To clean out the interior, I don't know, maybe he's a messy person, so I'll give him thirty minutes. To vacuum everything and dust everything inside and stuff, I'll say an hour.

That's HALF the time that he's been working on it. I just don't understand.


  1. Reminds me of 'The Truman Show'. Maybe he's on a loop.... he just washes the car... starts over... does it again.... he just washes and washes....

  2. I'd be leaving him an anonymous note about wasting water (not to mention leaving a huge carbon footprint with his penis replacement vehicle) on his big ol' ugly windshield and maybe jut maybe I'd get someones pet bird to leave a nice little gift on the windshield too...

  3. Wait - You even go to Old Navy on your day off?