The whole, complete story of our apartment flood

Our building is old and surrounded by trees. The tree roots have been working their way in and messing with the pipes for years. On June 27, this resulted in water leaking out of our toilet and shower and all over the bathroom. Our neighbor was having the same problem at the same time. When the plumbers arrived, several hours after the problem began, they decided they needed to remove one of our toilets in order to access and snake the main line of the building (or some other technical phrase like that). Ours would grant the most convenient access, so ours it is, eh?

So, the water was turned off, but I guess when you take a toilet off, you have to also release the pressure (or something). The plumber, in his infinite professional wisdom, neglected to do this and removed the toilet all willy-nilly, allowing sewage water to spill all throughout the apartment.

I was not home at the time, but my husband was, and he describes the situation as such:

I was sitting on the couch waiting for them to get done and I just heard, “Damn, that’s a lot of water.” So I looked and I was like … Yeah. That is a lot of water.

Matt then leapt into action to save the most important thing on the ground of the apartment: The desktop computer tower. He unplugged the last cord and picked the tower up about one second before water engulfed its prior location. He got some sentimental items (yearbooks, scrapbooks) out from under the couch with only minimal damage, but there were … a lot of things that were not so lucky.

I arrived home from work to an apartment that looked like this:


Matt and I then pretty much stood outside our apartment with our neighbor waiting to hear from our apartment management regarding what the heck was going to happen.

So there we were, waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting.

Apparently the emergency maintenance contact, which is the maintenance manager, wasn’t really a great contact that day because he was at the hospital with his dad.

And I feel for him, obviously. But like … have another contact designated, then. I don't really have to tell you why it's unacceptable for the “emergency, after-hours maintenance number” to be unavailable in the event of an emergency, right?

Anyway, hours later, we finally heard back from someone at the apartment management office. We said we were going to go to a modestly priced hotel and we just wanted to make sure we were going to be reimbursed for all our expenses, and he seriously and truly would not say, “Okay, yes, that’s fine.” He hemmed and hawed and said he’d need to get approval on Monday. I ended the conversation along the lines of, “Okay. We will be staying in a hotel at least until Monday and we will be paid back.” We also made it clear that Matt would be at the apartment management office at 9 a.m. on Monday to figure out where we were going from there.

When we left that night, we had no toilet -- just a hole in the bathroom floor. It was clear that a lot of our stuff was ruined, but we had no idea how much. And, of course, pretty much all of our floors were still covered in nasty, smelly, disgusting water. We gathered what we could to last us about a week, not having any idea how long it was really going to take.

It was a Saturday night, already 7 p.m., in Los Angeles. We called six hotels before we found one that had an opening at all. That one was about $350 a night. We called a few more and finally landed in a Rodeway Inn in the tiniest hotel room I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I’m pretty sure the bathroom was a closet at some point in its past. And a small closet, at that.

Monday morning rolled around and Matt, after getting quite a bit of runaround, found out they would be reimbursing us $150 a day for the duration of the time we were out of the apartment. Lovely, except that hotels cost about $150 a day. We are in Los Angeles, after all. The other thing about hotels is they don’t really have kitchens or anything, so if we were going to be staying in hotels, we would need extra reimbursements for all the fast food we would need to eat. Nope. $150 a day. That’s all they would do for us.

The brilliant, wonderful catch of the $150 a day reimbursement was that they were giving us that amount no matter what. No receipts required. So we got smart and decided we would use Airbnb, pay about $70 a night, cook our own meals and make a handsome profit.

That is what we proceeded to do. We had some of the most lovely Airbnb hosts.

We also had some of the weirdest Airbnb hosts.

The first place we stayed, from Monday, June 29 - Friday, July 3, was lovely. The woman we were sharing with was super nice and she had the most friendly cat. We were sad we couldn’t book it for the rest of the time, but it was already booked up.

Oh, quick sidebar: We were on a total wait-and-see basis. So on Monday, our apartment manager told us to plan on getting back in on Friday, so we booked through that Friday. But then on Wednesday, we were told that we would need to extend it through Sunday, planning on getting back in on Monday. Throughout all of the Airbnb stays and moves, we were hauling around all our day-to-day life items, including but definitely not limited to: a backpack, a duffle bag, an armful of hanging clothes, a bag of refrigerated food, a bag of regular food and my work bag.

Back to the timeline. On Wednesday, when we were given that information, we looked elsewhere. We eventually booked a cute room in East Hollywood for that weekend, Friday, July 3 - Monday, July 6. Then on Thursday night, about 12 hours before we were going to check in, we got a message from that person:

Hi Kristin! I'm so sorry for the late notice, but we've run into complications with my apt-- I got some dates mixed up and it turns out that my room will not be available for the full weekend. Obviously I don't want to leave you guys hanging, so we would be happy to accommodate you for tomorrow night at a lesser price, but I'll need to ask that you check out on Saturday instead of Monday as planned. Or, if you don't want to be hopping around too much and want to find a new place for the entirety of your trips, I totally understand if you need to cancel completely.

I mean, honestly.

We looked for a bit to try to find a place to stay starting the next day, but we really couldn’t, unfortunately. This left us in the very awkward position of staying in an apartment we knew we weren’t welcome in. The apartment was super nice, though, and Matt made friends with one of the roommates while I was at work, so it was okay overall.

So we booked this other room for Saturday, July 4 - Monday, July 6. We arrived on July 4 and … It was an entire Airbnb house. As in, there were three bedrooms plus a tent -- A TENT -- you could rent out individually, and the owner and his wife lived in the garage. So the total amount of people staying on the property was 10. It was messy, it was nothing like the pictures, there were huge rips in the couch’s upholstery that were covered by a throw blanket … Ugh. And there were two channels on the TV, so that was super fun. The house was also decorated by movie posters of all the terrible movies the owner has been in.

On Sunday, July 5, the last night we had booked in that location, we got this email from our apartment manager:

Hi Kristen and Matt,
I hope you both had a safe and enjoyable 4th!
Just wanted to follow up with you both and let you know that j did speak with the workers in regards to the flooring work going on in your unit. There was a bit of delay with the drying time, but have started already with the installation and repairs. Thy will need 1 additional day, so we are safe to say you may move back in Tuesday.

Oh okay cool, let me just grab an extra night’s stay real quick. NBD.

So as quickly as we could, we booked a night at an apartment really close to my work, which was fabulous since I walk to work every day anyway. This person didn’t have a profile picture but did have lots of great reviews, so we booked it. We stayed there, and it was fine, but … the person was using a fake name to stay anonymous because of the nature of their job (talent agent) and their assistant was in the apartment almost the whole time we were. The assistant literally works out of this talent agent’s apartment while the talent agent is traveling for work. So hilarious. Matt didn’t work that day, so he was pretty much just hanging out listening to the assistant make calls. All day.

At about 4:30 p.m. on that day, which was Tuesday, July 7, we got another email telling us to go ahead and extend our stay until Wednesday. The talent agent’s apartment wasn’t available, so we found somewhere in Hollywood. She accepted our reservation around 6 p.m. and then messaged us back at 9:50 p.m., saying:

So sorry something came up and I must cancel your reservation. My sincere apologies for the inconvenience. I've spoken to airbnb and they will reach out to and assist in making another reservation.

I was so sad and so mad. Both. Definitely both at the same time. We frantically searched for another place and landed somewhere else in Hollywood, and you guys, this place was so shady. It was a two-bedroom apartment with three people living in it. We had one of the bedrooms. This is a very small space for three people to share, especially when inviting in two other people at a time. There was no TV and there was no room to sit at the kitchen table, but there was an adorable kitten! We basically hung out with the kitten all night. That part was cool, at least.

The next day, Wednesday, July 8, we got an email around 2:30 saying the apartment hadn’t passed the inspection. Uh … oops! We were told to go ahead and extend until Friday.

So Matt found someplace around 5 p.m. and thank goodness they were able to accommodate us for that night, because we were awfully close to just having to get a real hotel. Our final Airbnb was the best one, in a fabulous house with a great couple, three dogs, three cats and chickens. Chickens! In LA!

We moved back in on Friday, July 10, and our apartment was an absolute wreck. Our apartment managers had been great the whole time, for sure, but the workers doing the actual renovations were all contractors who don't technically work for the company.

This is part of the email I sent to our apartment manager detailing everything the workers did wrong. (The manager was extremely apologetic, of course):
First, and probably most importantly, there are a bunch of scuffs (and one sort of rip, for lack of a better term) on the walls / doors, I guess from when they were moving furniture and stuff. I can send you pictures if you want; I just want to make sure we're not charged for it eventually if / when we move out. Second, I feel there was somewhat of a lack of respect for our property on the workers' part. A few examples ... 1) There were some mini posters that were very clearly damaged / contaminated, and they had been placed inside a nightstand with a bunch of stuff that hadn't been damaged. These obviously should have been kept separate. 2) They left some large-ish trash items related to their work in one of our really small trash cans, one of which has some sharp edges and sticks out way above the trash can. 3) I found something that had been on the refrigerator in the trash can. I don't know if it fell down or what, but it wasn't damaged, and it's certainly not okay for it to be thrown away. 4) Some of our furniture items weren't even close to the same place as they were before, for instance, a bookcase was in the closet, blocking half of our clothes. Obviously that is not where it goes, and we had to move it all the way across the apartment. Lastly, and definitely least important, but something that bothered me, the tile in the bathroom looks crooked to the eye. They lined it up with the bathtub instead of with the sight line of the bathroom, so it looks off from pretty much every angle. Obviously not a huge deal or something you would need to redo, just something I feel they should know about as people who are installing flooring.

In addition to all that mess, we couldn’t even throw anything away yet because we were waiting to hear a final verdict from our renters insurance, so we pretty much just piled all the trashed items in bags in the middle of the living room and sat on the contaminated couches for a few days.

Eventually, we got the approval from our insurance to throw everything away and that they were covering it. Hallelujah, excellent, whatever. Except after all this, it would have honestly been easier for us if our insurance hadn’t covered it, because the apartment manager was totally willing to write us a check for the appraised amount if insurance hadn’t.

Why would that have been easier than going through insurance? Oh, only because our insurance company is making us jump through a thousand hoops to get the money. We got half up front, then we have to submit receipts showing the total amount has been spent. So basically we’re having to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed. That is not how insurance usually works, in my experience.

What stinks about renters insurance is you don’t really ever plan on using it. Like, with car insurance, you’re probably going to use it once every few years. Renters insurance, though, you can have your whole life and never have to make a claim. So we had no idea how crappy our policy was because we had never dealt with it.

Now we know, and we’ll be shopping soon, and willing to spend more per month than we did before, but we just got our second check yesterday and that is ridiculous.

After all was said and done, the damaged items that were covered are:

Our couch, loveseat, side table and dresser functioning as an entertainment center in the living room, all of which we’ve already replaced. If there’s a silver lining to all this it’s that we are really, really excited about all our new stuff, and it allowed us to completely redecorate our living room for almost nothing. This is actually super cool because new furniture was not anywhere in our near or distant plans at all.

The bookcase that held our DVDs in our bedroom. This one we’re having some trouble with, because we want to buy a media tower kind of thing that will hold them all and display them well, which the old bookcase didn’t do.

The dresser that lives in the walk-in closet, along with all of my tights, scarves, bathing suits and activewear. Do you have any idea how long it took me to build up my bathing suit collection? And you expect me to replace it all in a year? Ridiculous!

About five pairs of shoes. Some (Matt’s) will be easy to replace. We’ll just order the exact same thing. Others (mine) will not be as easy.

Our Macbook and the speakers for our desktop computer. This one is actually pretty sweet. I would never turn down a new laptop. The old one was from 2011 or something.

Almost nothing was ruined that was not replaceable, except that the workers seem to have thrown away the folder Matt was keeping the notes for his script in. So that’s a lot of extra work he’s going to have to do. We also lost the vast majority of the miniature posters that used to make up our movie wall. Those are obviously priceless and also unclaimable.

So, I think that’s most of the details? I hope you enjoyed this long, rambling tale of why I hate that specific plumber, whose name I don’t even know, and also a few of the Airbnb people, and also definitely the insurance company.

The moral of the story is four-fold.

  1. Have renters insurance.
  2. Make sure your renters insurance policy covers every type of damage, will pay you up front in one big check, and is actually covered for the amount that it would cost to replace everything.
  3. Don’t keep important things or any type of clothing on the floor.
  4. Don’t trust a professional plumber to know basic rules of plumbing. They may ruin lots of your stuff with one terrible decision.


The first time I've seen anyone kicked off a plane

We took a trip to Michigan last weekend for a friend's wedding. On the return trip, our plane was supposed to leave at 8:03 p.m. Eastern time, putting us on the ground at 10:15 p.m. Pacific.

So we were at the point when everyone was already on the plane and there had been the, "Okay, everyone's here and settled and the doors are closed so we'll be leaving any minute" announcement. Then we started to hear a little commotion behind us, and a woman started pacing up the aisle.

She started from maybe three or four rows behind me and was walking up to about four rows ahead of me, and then would pace back and forth. So in this huge plane with double aisles, she was right next to me, which is fabulous.

She was ranting and raving about her laptop, which she was holding in her hand and waving (somewhat) wildly.

"My HUSBAND," she yelled, "has turned to perverts! It's all in here" She held the laptop up. "I'm just trying to make better life for my family! My family and husband are in Philippines and I just want to make better life! The GOVERNMENT is doing this to us, don't you see? It's ALL IN HERE!"

And so on and so forth.

It probably only lasted about 45 seconds or so, but it felt like forever, and I also very strongly felt like I was going to get hit in the head by a laptop at any second.

About 15 seconds into the commotion, a flight attendant in the opposite aisle said, "Oh no, she's gotta go," which we really enjoyed, but then it took a while for anyone to actually usher her toward the front. They finally did, though, and she didn't resist a lot, but she also didn't go willingly. She was still ranting the whole time, though she had stopped yelling, and the flight attendant had to kind of push her along.

So she's off the plane, hallelujah, but then they had to get all her carry-on items and her checked luggage off, because you can't be too careful, obviously.

About ten minutes later, they made an adorable announcement that went something like, "We'd like to apologize for that commotion toward the back of the plane; it seems one of your fellow passengers wasn't enjoying her Delta experience, but she, her carry-ons and her checked bags have been removed. She will be staying here and we will be leaving very soon. We'll try to make it up to you."

But hold onto your hats, everyone, because that's not the end of the story.

A couple of minutes later, which like, lucky for her that we hadn't left yet, this obnoxious pregnant woman calls the flight attendant and asks if she can leave. "Sorry, I just, I'm pregnant and I don't feel comfortable being on this plane anymore after what happened."

I mean, honestly. First of all, maybe speak up about ten minutes ago so that we don't have to sit here waiting for you after we already sat here waiting for the other woman and her stuff to leave.

Secondly, maybe calm down and don't be a complete paranoid idiot. There is absolutely no reason for you to need to leave. The plane is safe. They even removed her checked bags. Also she obviously went through security so there almost 100 percent was never any danger in the first place. All the rest of us are being normal humans and staying on the plane and -- spoiler alert -- we're all going to get there just fine. You, on the other hand, probably won't even get to LA until like, midday tomorrow and will regret your decision immensely when you check the flight status and see our plane didn't crash.

So anyway, we have to wait absolutely forever for her, her child, her unborn child, their stroller, all their other carry-ons, and -- last, but not least -- her very embarrassed husband (who probably spent those ten minutes in between the first lady getting kicked off and his wife speaking up trying to convince her to stay) to leave the plane.

And then, after all that, there was a mechanical issue that delayed us another 45 minutes.

They did try to make it up to us, though, by making all the movie and TV options free, as well as giving us free drinks. I watched Still Alice and cried like a little baby. And we all know how expensive alcohol is on a plane.


The job listing that made me hate The Fine Brothers

You know those "Kids React" and "Teens React" and "Elders React" videos everyone's always sharing on Facebook? Those are made by The Fine Brothers, whose YouTube channel is called TheFineBros.

I am mostly neutral on The Fine Brothers' videos. I've seen funny ones and I've seen boring ones. I really didn't have that strong of an opinion about them ... until I saw this job listing on Craigslist. OMG, guys, it's awful, so get ready.

I'm going to just put the screenshots here first so you can read them and be enraged on your own, and then we'll talk about them after, okay?

Okay, okay, okay. Let's go one by one.
  1. First of all, if your NORMAL working hours are 45 hours a week, "although your days may run longer," THAT'S A PROBLEM. Maybe hire a full time person plus a part-timer.
  2. Don't talk about your hour lunch break as if it's some glamorous and unusual perk. That is normal. Calm down.
  3. Other than that, the benefits are slim? Really? You're a start-up with SLIM BENEFITS? The best you can come up with is an hour lunch break and Mario Kart? Not even free lunches? Or snacks, even?
  4. The first point under the "Job Requirements and Responsibilities" section is actually pretty helpful to include, in order to save people time and whatnot. But like, did you have to word it so rudely? Ick.
  5. "Be comfortable under extremely tight deadlines" is code for "we never plan projects out appropriately and therefore expect absolutely unreasonable turnarounds."
  6. "OCD-level documentation?" Ableist and rude. Do you actually want your designer to have a disorder? If so, you're the actual worst.
  7. "In general, making the same mistake twice is a huge bummer for us." This is rude. I mean, yeah. Making the same mistake twice is bad. But again, just like with number 4, this is worded super rudely. Same thing with the "deer in the headlights" thing.
  8. "Have friends and significant others that don't mind you spending long hours away from home." Get yourselves together. Seriously. Work-life balance is important. Cherish it. Treasure it. Provide it for your employees.
  9. Like, freaking OBVIOUSLY someone applying for a graphic design position is comfortable sitting and staring at their computer screen for hours at a time. That's how it works.
  10. "Have a great sense of humor, and be fun to work around for 12+ hours at a time when needed." Like, no. You don't get to demand that someone is funny or pleasant to work around, especially when you're also demanding 12+ hour days.
  11. So you started this stupid job ad by talking up your company and acting like you're so great, but now you're saying you're a start-up just so you can make sure we're not expecting a good paycheck?
  12. Also, start-up culture is all about paying people really well and having good benefits. See point 3 for a few suggestions. And yeah, health insurance would be a good start.
  13. "If this would just be a stepping stool for you to something else a year down the line, this probably isn't the right gig for you." Oh. Gotcha. So you're offering a job that requires MORE than full time hours with a hectic, awful working environment and no health insurance and you'd like to require more than a year commitment? No. You will be lucky to find someone to do this job for a couple of months, let alone more than a year.
  14. Finally, if you want to stand out from the competition, make sure your subject line makes it clear that you like the same things as us, because if you're not a Game of Thrones fan, then you're clearly not cut out for working with us.


I spent like half of last week dealing with a single grocery delivery.

Matt and I get our groceries delivered once a month. We do this for a variety of reasons. First, carrying a bunch of groceries two blocks from our parking garage and up the stairs to our apartment is not fun. Second, I actually think it saves us money overall because we can edit and really look at our list and calculate and get the best prices and all that jazz. Third, delivery is free, so like, why not?

Okay. So we have done this almost every month since we moved to Los Angeles more than a year ago, using the exact same company, with absolutely no problems, but this month was a totally different story, so I obviously needed to share.

Let me preface the story of this month's delivery by telling you: We got back from a two-week trip home to Kentucky and Tennessee on Sat., January 3. Previous to that, to try and save a little money in December, we hadn't gotten any groceries and were just kind of clearing out our cabinets, and we ate pretty much everything in the fridge that could possibly go bad in a two-week period. So we basically had chicken noodle soup and butter left, which meant we needed groceries like, the second we got home.

So because we needed groceries right away, I got the essentials on Sunday when I was out at work and we went on and ordered groceries and scheduled our delivery for midday Monday, with a delivery window of 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., because I wasn't working that day.

Then early Monday morning, I got a phone call offering me some temp work for the entire week, including Monday. I obviously can't afford to pass up work, so I called the customer service number for the grocery and asked if I could reschedule our delivery. She said it was no problem whatsoever and we rescheduled the delivery for the next day, Tuesday, between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m.

In order to guarantee I would be home by 6 on Tuesday, I had to leave work a little early, so I took a short lunch and rushed home at the end of the day. I got home right at 6. We waited and waited for the whole delivery window, all the way until 10 p.m. ... and nobody ever called or came with the groceries.

Like, what? What happened? Where are you? Why did I not get a phone call? Is my food sitting on the delivery truck overnight? Did the rescheduled time not go through? Where is my food? I'm so hungry! And of course, the customer service center closes at 9, so I couldn't call that night and figure out what happened.

The next morning on my way to work, I called customer service and explained what happened the night before. The woman was super apologetic and we rescheduled it for that night, Wednesday, between 7 and 9, no problem. She also gave us a $10 credit on our next order, so that's great!

Then at 4:45, while I was at work, I got a phone call, and it went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Person: Hi, this is [grocery delivery company]. Where are you?
Me: What? I'm at work.
Person: You're not at home?!
Me: Um, no? Are you there right now?
Person: Yes! I'm at your apartment, 302! Why aren't you here?
Me: I'm at work. My delivery was scheduled for between 7 and 9 tonight.
Person: No, it says 11 to 3 on the sheet!
Me: I'm really sorry, that was my original delivery time on Monday, but it's supposed to be between 7 and 9 tonight.
Person: So when will you be home?
Me: ... Well definitely by 7, but I don't know exactly.
Person: Okay, I'll try back then.

A couple of things here. First, why are you yelling at me? Like, calm down please, take a breath, and get rid of all the exclamation marks.

Second, I'm really wondering where exactly the miscommunication is happening here. Is the delivery person missing the note with the new delivery time on the sheet? Is the new delivery time not written on the sheet? If not, why not?

And third, if the delivery was scheduled between 11 and 3, good thing you're calling me at 4:45, right? Like seriously, I would have been so mad if it was an hour and forty-five minutes late! Of course, that's better than not showing up at all like someone did on Tuesday.

Anyway, we ended up getting our groceries fine that night and all was right with the world, but goodness gracious! It was way more difficult than it needed to be.

And PS, it wasn't the delivery driver's fault; the new delivery time hadn't been written on the form anywhere, so like, rude alert on the driver's manager or something.


Fake generosity around the holidays

This is just a quick PSA to inform you that whatever generous thing you're doing — filling up someone's gas tank when they asked you for money, giving a less fortunate family Christmas presents, spending your Christmas bonus on other people instead of yourself — is invalidated by the fact that you're bragging about it to every person you meet.

I especially get annoyed about this at Old Navy. People often come to Old Navy to buy clothes for the various adopt-a-family style charities and they often feel the need, for some reason, to share with me what they're doing. 

I was checking someone out a few weeks ago who volunteered out of the blue, "These are for these two girls at an orphanage. I think they'll like them. It'll make their Christmas so much better."

Like, okay, lady. Yeah, it probably will. But why don't you take a step back and stop acting like this is the most important thing ever and, while you're at it, stop bragging. I'm sure she also took a picture of the pile of clothes when she got home and posted it to Facebook so she could bask in all the likes and "You're so generous" comments.

Speaking of Facebook, it's unnecessary to post a status or picture every time you do something nice for someone. It just tells everyone how pleased you are with yourself and how important you think you are.

Of course, sometimes interesting or funny things happen in the midst of doing something charitable, and I certainly don't hold it against you for sharing these things if it's not possible to share the story without talking about the charitable thing you're doing. But you can try to phrase it in a way that makes it clear that you're NOT trying to brag, and that's absolutely not what people do most of the time.

Doing good things for people should be a reward in and of itself. Don't risk looking like a self-obsessed braggart by posting on Facebook about it. 


"I wish someone had told me you don't take checks!"

As I was checking a customer out at Old Navy today, she pulled out her checkbook and said, "I'm going to write a check."

Let me stop you right there. We don't actually accept checks anymore. (Hallelujah.)

So I answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry, we actually don't take checks!"

Flustered and already angry, she replied, "What? Really? Since when?!"

I replied, "Yeah, it's been about a year or so."

And she answered — seriously — "Well geez, I wish someone had told me!"

Okay. Okay. Here's the thing. Pretty much nobody uses checks anymore. Just as an example, I've only had two people total try to write a check to pay for their purchase in the past year.

People who write checks are such a small, tiny, seriously barely-existent minority that it would be absolutely ridiculous to enact any kind of communication campaign to let them know we won't be taking checks anymore.

Like seriously, what do you want us to do? Let's look at some options.

Should we send out a direct mail campaign? And I'm sure it wouldn't be good enough to just have the information included in a normal advertisement-type mailer because you might not read the whole thing. So maybe it should just be like, "PSA: We're not going to be taking personal checks anymore!"

Should we send everyone an email? But if you exclusively use checks you might not use email either. And we certainly can't be sure that you're on our email list. So maybe we should send out an email to every email address in the country.

Should we personally call each person who's used a check to pay for a transaction at Old Navy in the past, say, five years? I wonder if we even keep that information. I kind of doubt it. Maybe we should call every phone number in the United States and tell them our new policy.

Should we have tacky "no personal checks" signs posted? Where would you suggest we post them? I presume the register wouldn't have worked, right? Because that's where you found out about the policy anyway, and you didn't think I told you soon enough. So maybe we should have them posted on the front doors. Maybe it should be one big sign that's the size of the door so you don't miss it.

Should we have someone stationed at the door as you walk in to tell you what forms of payment we do and don't accept? When does the statute of limitations run out on this? Because if the policy went into effect more than a year ago, maybe we should do this for two years after the policy change. Or maybe three? Three sounds safe.
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